Update on those '09 resolutions

Just over halfway through Month 2 of 2009, how am I doing? 

• Half-mar trailing - this has been a challenge.  I've been faithfully doing the "long" runs on Saturdays (OK, they're not that long yet), but my jogging has been sporadic durin ghe week and I've developed some sort of hip issue that keeps me from moving very much after I run.  It's weird, scary, painful, and probably my own fault. 
• New camera - just hit "Place my order" on a new camera.  We'll see.  I did some research, tried a few out.  In the end, went with new, cheap-ish, and well-reviewed.
• Donate clothes - I dropped off over $300 in clothes during January at My Closet, so I'm off to a good start. 
  
• Belly dance - I've done a few dvds.  Not enough, but it's a start.  Definitely not dancing every day.  This is partially due to the aforementioned hip issue, and also to just be so freaking busy that I don't have time, but I do need to make this more of a priority. 
  
• Try new techniques - craft-wise, that is.  I made my own Valentines this year for all the Divas and for some other friends and family.  I'm not good with glue, so it was an adventure.  The cards were well-received, so I think I may have a future in paper.
• Quality time with the DH.  I'd definitely say this was going well.  We had an awesome Valentine's weekend, amongst many other awesome weekends together so far this year.
• MALS - as I posted earlier this week, I submitted my application to Mizzou's M.A. in Library Science program.  Cross your fingers! :)  If all goes well this semester, I'll have 6 hours under my belt by May 5, and if I get accepted to the program, can figure out my upcoming jaw surgery schedule, and get approval to take summer classes, I'll have another 6 knocked out by the end of June.  That's a lot of ifs.

So, yeah, there you have it.  Not bad for the first 47 days of the year, huh?

almost made it!

One of my goals for the month of January was to not buy anything.  Obviously stuff like food, gas, etc are necessary purchases, but clothes, books and the like were out.  I made it until Jan 22 before I caved and bought some clothes at My Closet.  To be fair, we were having a $5 sale and it is for a very worthy cause.  But then I bought a few more things at My Closet on Saturday…and some craft supplies on Monday (which I did NOT need)…and  a couple more tops at My Closet last night…  Grrr…I was doing so well!  Oh, well.  That’s about the longest I’ve ever gone, so I’ll consider the month to be a relative success.  The point wasn’t so much self-deprivation as to stop the constant inflow of stuff into my life and give me a chance to purge a little.  I was hoping to make a dent in my craft stash, which I did (but have since replenished), and to go through my closet and sort out some things I no longer wear.  I did accomplish that much – in addition to the two tops I bought at MC last night, I also walked out with a receipt for $300 worth of donated clothing.  Whoo-hoo!  That’s a big deal for me – I’m a possessive type and it is very hard for me to let go of things.  What if I want them some day???

I’m trying to change my attitude about clothing.  Rather than buying clothes, I’m going to start looking at it as “renting”.  Perhaps it’ll be a little easier for me to relinquish them when they’re time has passed, rather than insisting that I must hold onto them because I paid good money to acquire them in the first place. We’ll see…

I also dropped off a couple of boxes of misc junk at the GoodWill.  Unfortunately I couldn’t stop myself from also going inside the store…sigh.  I found two large knit dresses – should be enough fabric there for some simple tops.  Also found a vintage orange plaid skirt, which I’ll alter to fit.  Some good deals to be had if you look for that week’s sale color tag.  But of course, just more stuff that  I don’t need…

Happy Holidays

I hope you had a very Merry Christmas.  I know I did!  Not only in the “stuff I got” department, but also because I got to see my family and everyone got along.  Of course, Christmas gifts are always fun and I am incredibly happy with my haul this year.  I must have been pretty specific when I was asked what I wanted from Santa, because I can’t think of one “WTF were YOU thinking?” gift…  J  I received several books from my Amazon wish list, mainly sewing and crafting books, but also the Farmer John seasonal cookbook!  Yea!  I also got enough Christmas cash to combine with a Hancock giftcard from the DH to buy a serger last night!  Whoo-hoo!  Merry Christmas to me! 

Giving gifts is always fun too, of course.   I wrapped up 4 calculators for the dog to give to the DH.  Our last calculator finally died, so I picked up a bunch of replacements…it’s fun to watch someone upwrap the same gift over and over and over…  For my mom, in addition to a massage gift certificate, we gave her an ornament from the Statue of Liberty while I was in NYC for the marathon…  It took her a moment of closer inspection to realize where it came from and then her face just lit up – perfect!  My nephew seemed to like the sock monkey I made him…not as much as the paper and ribbons from all his other gifts, but he’s only 8 months old, so what’d’ya do?  I tried to convince my sister’s fiance that the golf course gift certificate we gave him expired at the end of January, but he caught on…eventually. J 

We didn’t give anyone too much – 1 or 2 gifts apiece – but I think we put a lot of thought into each one and that made them more than enough.  For an entirely mall-free Christmas expirience, I think we did quite well…

 

But Christmas has come and gone and it’s now time to focus on the New Year.  Are you making resolutions?  After cleaning out our pantry last night, and trashing about ¾ of my spice rack, I’m going to focus on being less wasteful with food!  I can’t believe how much I threw away…it was quite disgusting…  From now on, I’m not buying it if I don’t have a plan to eat it within the coming two weeks...which should have been my MO this entire time, I know… J

I’m also going to throw myself back into the the workout world – I’ve been slacking and it’s starting to show!  No sense in outgrowing all the clothes I’ve made lately.  I’m also going to push myself to dance everyday.  This was one of my Best Year Yet goals and I did well for about a week…  I love to belly dance, but practicing has never been something I can make a habit of… this is the year that changes!

Since my braces are going on in just under 2 weeks, my other new habit will be brushing and flossing multiple times a day… 

Happy New Year everyone!

 

I've fallen (off the wagon) and I need to get up

6 months. 6 months without buying any new clothes (other than a few misc belly dance items). But still, aside from that, nothing from the mall, nothing from the internet, no new cute clothes. Until this weekend. I went to New York City with my siblings to watch my brother run the NYC Marathon. And I shopped. Way too much. I bought a new jacket, a cute reversible hoodie, a pair of jeans, a pair of gloves and a scarf (that purchase was a necessity – it was cold!), a couple of tops…it was bad. I have learned something about myself. I have absolutely no willpower. The only way for me to avoid buying new clothes is to complete avoid the opportunity. If I’m presented a chance to buy something, I will take it. Much like my inability to just say no to chocolate, I have no control over my shopping impulse. It must be completely avoided.

All that being said, I love NYC. All the people, the public transportation – I mastered the subway and the New Jersey Transit system – the sights and sounds – that was all good. Traveling with siblings? Not so much. Suffice it to say, this was our last family vacation.

One of the highlights of the trip, aside from witnessing the marathon – that was cool! - was stumbling into this little burger joint with my brother. Appropriately named Brgr, it was seriously the best hamburger I ever had – gruyere cheese, avocado, herbed mayo, a side of sweet potato fries…and then I noticed the sign on the wall. It was grass-fed, all natural, hormone and anti-biotic-free, humanely-raised meat. All sauces were made on-site, using locally-sourced ingredients when possible. How cool is that! It was totally an accident, too. J

Another very cool aspect of the trip was meeting my mother’s friend’s future sister-in-law, Ally, who designs handbags. She has two lines – recycled-material bags (aGaiN NYC) and sustainable-material bags. Both sell for more money than I have to spend, but it was awesome to meet people who share that kind of passion about sustainable production. I am horrible jealous of her and her fiancé, though – they lived in a million $ apartment in the West Village and have artsy/creative jobs. So not fair. J

But I’m home now, and tired from all the walking that we don’t do enough of in Nebraska, tired from carrying my heavy carry-on bags everywhere because we didn’t plan that part very well, tired from arguing with my family, being generally bitchy and frustrated, and getting in rather late from the airport. I’m ready for a nap and getting back to my routine. I’m climbing back on the no-shopping bandwagon. It was a momentary slip and I’ll recover. Eventually.

attack of conscience

There is so much “bad” in the world.  Sometimes we just feel like closing our eyes and ignoring it all.  Up until now, I’ve worn fogged-up rose-colored glasses when it comes to my favorite foodstuff in the world: chocolate.  I suppose that deep down I knew that something so good had to be bad…but that child slave labor was used never occurred to me.  But now I know…and now I’m not sure I can put my blinders back on and continue to indulge. 

Here is a list of the good, the bag, and the ugly when it comes to the “Nature’s Perfect Food” (imho).

Why?

My DH has been relatively accepting of all the green changes we’ve made – the recycling, the clothesline, the compost bin, the garden (especially since its finally spitting out veggies!), shutting the a/c off for days on end, but I know that he really doesn’t understand “why”.  Why bother doing all these things – what good can one person do if very few others do the same?

There are lots of reasons of course, but I think for me it all boils down to…guilt.  Yes, that’s right, I feel guilty! 

I have a lot of friends who were raised Catholic, so I’ve witnessed religiously-induced guilt firsthand.  Let me say, I feel pretty lucky that I wasn’t raised Catholic, because the guilt would have surely killed me!  However, I don’t understand that type of guilt.  It seems superficial.  I don’t see the point in feeling guilty about something that doesn’t hurt anyone, which most things religion punishes you for don’t.  I do, though, feel immense guilt about things that do hurt others, be it animal or human being, or in this case, the whole planet.

Garbage really bothers me.  It is really scary to think that because I choose to use a plastic fork at lunch, that same petroleum-based utensil will be sitting in a landfill in hundreds or even thousands of years.  I have always been an advocate of recycling as much as possible, even though I haven’t been as vigilant about it as I should be.  My dh really does not get the point, especially after our neighbor, who is employed by the local sanitation company that collects our trash, informed him that most of the recycling just gets trashed anyway.  I told him regardless of what happens to it (I have since confirmed that it does indeed all get recycled properly), we will continue to recycle what we can if only because it makes me feel better!!!  That should be reason enough.

The same is true with regards to eating organic and/or locally-produced food.  It makes me feel better about my role in the world if I can support the local economy (especially the little guys) and not support the destruction of our farmlands and water supplies through the use of heavy chemical pesticides and fertilizers.  I feel better about myself when I eat a tomato I’ve grown myself, or a fresh-picked salad from the farmer’s market.  Sure it’s not always cheaper or easier, but it’s better for me and for the planet, so it is worth the extra effort and monetary cost. 

So rather than ask Why I Choose to be Environmentally-Conscious, I think the better question is Why Doesn’t Everyone?  

 

 

30 days are up! How'd I do?

Well, yesterday was Day 30 of my break from shopping. How did I do? Not as well as I’d hoped, but about as good as I expected! I did buy a few new things, some out of necessity, some out of plain ol’ greed. I also bought some used items. However, as much as I did buy, it doesn’t begin to compare to what I didn’t buy! Let’s see, shall we:

Items purchases June 12 – July 11, 2007:

Necessities:

• Self-watering tomato pot and potting soil – my patio tomato took a sudden turn for the worse in it’s tiny pot.
• Insect spray – cucumber beetles attached my garden.
• Bra – I went to a dance workshop in another town without this item. Don’t ask.
• Belt – halfway to my destination, I realized that my shorts were not holding themselves up any longer.

Not-so-necessary, but used to finish several craft projects:

• Ribbon
• Snaps
• Velcro
• Rhinestones

No reason at all, just couldn’t stop myself:

• Pink coin scarf pink belly dancer tank top, pink necklace, copper necklace and earring set
• 3 yards denim fabric

Used items:

• 2 jackets (to be altered and embroidered)
• Ties (for a project)
• T-shirts (to be reconstructed)

Now, let’s see what I didn’t buy this month:

• Magazine subscriptions
• lawn chairs
• new fabric (other than the denim slip-up)
• books
• cheese-maker
• more Melodia pants
• t-shirt dress
• art work
• bread bowl
• ORG t-shirt
• reusable grocery bags
• recycled backpack
• surfer shoes
• jeans – from new “Bitten” Sarah Jessica Parker collection
• cool peacock feather-print t-shirt (Bitten)
• shoes (Bitten)
• Jewelry (Bitten)
• Dress (Bitten)
• Matching undies for new bra (Bitten)
• New embroidery patterns
• Wings of Isis
• Stretchy skirt & top set
• Velvet fringe belt
• Leaf-coin belt
• 2 pink hip scarves
• Bedazzled Melodia knock-offs
• Sari-print veil and pants
• Pre-order dvds (tribal-fusion belly dance)
• Countless items that flitted through my mind as potential splurges and treats

Actually, not that I look over my not-purchased list I’m surprised there isn’t more. Maybe I spend enough time reading Voluntary Simplicity that a little of it rubbed off on me? Or maybe my subconscious was relying on the fact that 30 days isn’t really that much time and I would be back to normal shopping habits soon enough… Will I? I don’t plan on reverting entirely to my material-driven ways, but I will buy some things. Fabric for sure, the new dvds perhaps, the embroidery patterns definitely, the jeans maybe. Any new-clothes shopping sprees will be short-lived as I am signing up for the Wardrobe Refashion pledge that starts in August. I won’t have a lot of spending cash anyway, with a workshop roadtrip on the horizon and a jaunt to NYC with my siblings this fall to pay for…

All in all, this an interesting little endeavor. I don’t feel like I “found myself” or anything that profound, but I have a little more closet space (or will once I clean said closet!) and a little more self-awareness… And those last two don’t cost a thing.

Confessions of a shopaholic

Hello, my name is Ananda Devika and I failed. I knew better, but I did it anyway. I shopped. There was a belly dance workshop yesterday and where there are belly dancers there are belly dance costume vendors. And where there are vendors, there are pretty, sparkly, jeweled and coined items that I just cannot resist. I tried. I let myself look around; telling myself it was only for inspiration for my own projects. I found several things I will try to make. However, I don't really make jewelry and coin scarves and that's where I messed up. Out came the checkbook (TWICE!) and into my bag went a hot pink scarf covered in gold coins, a pink spangled necklace, and a gold-copper-silver necklace and earring set. Oh, and a hot pink tank top bedazzled with the word "Bellydancer" in silver rhinestones. I don't bedazzle either. I was apparently having a pink day. My hope is that all the pink matches this tiered skirt I have in my alteration pile (too big) - today's project will be making it fit, so these new acquisitions don't sit unused. So pretty...gawd, I suck!
Maybe I should focus on the things I didn’t buy. J I didn’t buy a sari-print veil or the matching harem pants. I didn’t buy the stretchy skirt and top combo (in orange or pink). I passed up the coin belt with leaf-shaped coins, even thought I have the perfect skirt to wear it with. I didn’t buy the tie-dyed velvet fringe belt, the bedazzled Melodia-knockoffs, or the 2 other pink hip scarves I admired. I didn’t buy a decently-priced pair of Wings of Isis. So, really I did pretty well. J Amazing what we can justify to ourselves, huh? :P

ML send me a great link today to Wardrobe Refashion! I emailed the girl to see if I can get in on the next pledge...what a great excuse to extend my no-shopping! Feeling inspired, I came home and cut up another t-shirt, this time an XL freebie from my trusty State Farm agent. Here's the finished result:

It was just a prototype - next time I'll use a shirt that doesn't advertise!

This is one of my latest creations - the pants that is (I bought the top in Estes Park at a Nepalese boutique). I'm calling them "Happy Pants" right now...although I'm a little concerned about the other definitions! This particular pair is made from my old bedroom curtains (which were refashioned saris with gold stamping).

What I haven't bought...

I’ve completed a full 2 weeks of attempting to not shop.  What have I purchased?  Besides the occasional soda pop at work (during post-running hypoglycemic episodes only), a much-needed pot for my ailing patio tomato plant, a bracelet and some t-shirts at the Goodwill (these were recycled fabric for a new project), and the ribbon and Velcro to complete a costume, not much.  I’ve avoided the opportunity for shopping as much as possible, but of course, in our society temptations abound.  I think I’ve done a decent job of fending it off.  What haven’t I bought?  In the past two weeks, I have considered, and postponed, purchasing the following items:

• magazine subscription – both the paper and e-versions
• lawn chairs – would have been great at Shakespeare…
• new fabric – still haven’t used all I have…
• books – several are not available through either the library or PBS L
• cheese-maker – don’t ask
• additional Melodias – I’ve had a taste, I want them all!
• t-shirt dress – maybe I can make one?
• art work – beautiful stuff at the SAF
• bread bowl – I’m sure I would’ve used it!
• ORG t-shirt – maybe once ML is actually playing…
• reusable grocery bags – needed, but am using various bags I find around the house for now
• recycled backpack – it just looked cool
• “surfer” shoes – I have no idea what they’re really called, but they were so comfy…

All of these items are things I could afford and would have normally bought on impulse, but I’m being good.  I’m sticking with my pledge, as best I can.  The cd I ordered from Amazon before I started has already arrived, a couple of weeks early, but I am not opening the package until this is over.  Instant gratification be damned! J

Today I will finished reading Affluenza – I failed miserably the “affluenza self-diagnosis test” in Chapter 21.  I am deeply infected.  Hopefully this month is my first step towards recovery…

 

Weekend: Cancelled

It was a rather disappointing weekend.  Two of the events I was really looking forward to (dancing at the Summer Arts Festival and sand volleyball) were cancelled.  Diva Soma was scheduled to dance at the SAF on  Friday evening, Saturday afternoon and evening, and Sunday afternoon, but shortly after the Saturday afternoon performance, we were informed that we were “distracting” and had to quit.  Apparently, we drew too much of a crowd and no one was watching the bands in the main pavilion.  Friday’s performance was also a little short, due to a torrential downpour and a really poor-quality sound system.  It is hard to dance when you can’t hear the music! J 

Despite the rain Friday night, we did still manage to catch Henry V at Shakespeare on the Green.  I was really moved by the relevance of the play to the current state of war that we are facing…   After the play, we stopped into Mick’s to see Oxygen.  I enjoyed the band – they were quality musicians, although not quite my style of music.

Saturday was a bummer.  First of all, my darling husband insisted that I go shopping with him, although he knows that I am refraining from such activities this month.  He did his best to shield me from all the girly clothes and shoes I would normally head straight for, and bought me a cookie for my trouble, but still… it was a miserable afternoon.  With the dancing being cancelled, the DH and I made the most of the evening, heading out with some of his band mates to catch another local cover band, Cheshire Grin.  The bar was far too smoky for me – it was hard to see, much less breath!

Sunday morning, he insisted on going back to the mall!!! WTF?  Wasn’t one day enough?  Apparently not.  Ugh.  I had dance practice in the afternoon, followed by dinner with the in-laws (which garnered me a free wheelbarrow and some transplants for my garden – yea!)  After dinner, I headed to ML’s Roller Derby bout – I helped her pass out program and deal with Random Drunk Boy before taking my seat and enjoying my first roller derby experience.  It was quite a show – even though all the skaters were less experienced, they were quite impressive.  It’s not something I could ever do – I dislike going fast and being touched, both of which seem to be requirements for the sport – but I would definitely attend another bout as a spectator.

ML and I headed out after the second period for volleyball.  For the second week in a row there were no cars in the parking lot of the complex.  OK…upon approaching the door, I was informed by the manager that Sunday V-ball was cancelled and we should have been called.  Nope, we weren’t.  How disappointing, since I know everyone was looking forward to playing…and since we are all pretty busy, there isn’t another league night that will work for us, so we are officially done.  

Overall, not the greatest weekend, and I’m still in a not-so-happy mood. L  Hopefully this weekend will be better – it ends with a Roger Waters’ concert, so it can’t be all bad. J

 

One week down...

Today is officially Day 9 of my No Shopping Month.  How’s it going?  Pretty well.  Sure, there have been some temptations, and there have been some opportunities for purchases that I really wanted to justify as necessary, and heck, I’ll admit that I stopped by the store the other day and bought something.  However, the purchased items (Velcro strips and ribbon) have already been used, so they were not just “things to buy”, which is what I’m trying to avoid.   I’ve also caved on some junk food, but not nearly as much as I usually do – mainly just a pop once in a while after my lunchtime jog when I feel slightly hypoglycemic…

ML and I were discussing my challenge this morning – what I am really trying to accomplish versus what’s going on in her life – and I think I said it pretty well to her:

“My main focus is to stop focusing on objects as the main goal of my life, which I think has unconsciously always been my prime motivation - I've always been a shopper, and I've let that influence my career decisions and other life choices.  If I would have taken the time in high school or even before (or even after) to really figure out what I valued, besides stuff, I would not have taken the path I took – with was the "path to the most money".  Granted, I'm happy with a lot of the "consequences" of that path - Lowell, my friends, etc - I'm not thrilled with most of it.  I enjoy being busy, but I want to be sure that any experiences I cram in aren't because I think I should or because they will result is me acquiring things.  I even questioned the sewing, since it just leads to more stuff.  If I start selling the things I make, is that just as bad, since I'd be doing it for profit, not for pleasure?

At this point, I'm going with 'no', 'cause I really do enjoy it.  Should I stop enjoying it, I'll probably take a long break from the sewing machine.”

I’m about halfway through Affluenza (and I highly recommend it).  It, like all books lately, is taking some time to get through, because of a severe crunch on my free-time.  Is this bad?  ML seems to think so, as she seems very frustrated by her many extracurriculars eating away at the time she spends on herself, even though she very much enjoys these activities.  While I’ll freely admit that this past weekend, when I had no obligations, was a wonderful change of pace, I actually love being busy.  I love my activities and have tried to be picky about what I do.  This has been especially important since getting married, as for some crazy reason my husband thinks we need to spend time together. J  So I’ve tried to pick things I’m really passionate about (belly dance, volunteering) and that can mainly fit around our two schedules – for instance, I have dance practice while he’s at band practice.  I read while he watches TV (and sometimes, we read together…gasp!).  He drums while I sew.  A lot of our entertainment activities (music, plays, races, art shows) can be down together, or I do them solo while he works. It works out pretty well…most of the time. 

So, I guess what I’m saying is that in these 9 short days, I’m already starting to clear my head a little about at least one thing that is important to me:  activities that I enjoy enough to not mind the amount of time they take…I’ve got a long way to go, but so far, it’s not nearly as unpleasant as I would have thought… J

 

The bargain basement

I went “shopping” this weekend, in my basement.  Got a couple of nice items of clothing, and I didn’t spend a dime…  Everything once in a great while, I sort out my dresser and closet, taking all the clothes I haven’t worn in a while (seasonal items, etc) and packing them away.  This weekend I pulled out one of the large storage totes I’d packed away, to see if there was anything I could donate to the Jumble Shop.  While digging through this massive pile of clothing, I found a nice pair of black trousers – I’m guessing at one point, I bought a new pair of nearly identical pants, so I put these aside – and a silky green sleeveless shell with some beading across the front.  Both items look reasonably stylish and work-appropriate, and since I’d forgotten that I even possessed them, they were new to me!  The rest of the items, as well as a large bag of shoes, are heading to the Jumble Shop tonight on my way to dance class…hopefully someone else will get a little thrill from my basement scavenging as well.

 

26 Temptations

The title of one of my favorite Devotcha! songs, and the hell I am living right now. How come when you give something up voluntarily, it's suddenly everywhere?!? So I quit shopping for a while. Do you think the world is taking it easy on me? That would be NO. My husband almost suggested that we go to the mall as our Saturday night activity last night. I know he wasn't thinking about the implications of that for me, just the fact that he has $500 to blow on clothes for himself at the moment, but still... I got an email from one of the Divas about the recent Ren Faire and it's plethora of belly dance gear for sale. There is a HUGE sale at the fabric store coming up during this horrid month (I wonder if it'll be OK to cave for that one if I run out of fabric at home? Not likely to happen, but it's glimmer of hope...) Not to mention every e-newsletter I get contains mention of something lovely to buy. :( The not-so-happy little goddess is pouting.

Deprived or depraved?

So since I decided to stop buying myself stuff two days ago, formally declaring my intentions yesterday (and telling my husband, who laughed), I’ve been thinking. Is giving up shopping really doing anything to stem my wanton materialism? Sure, I’ll stop accumulating new objects, but am I even getting close to the root of the problem?

Dictionary.com defines materialism as: A preoccupation with or emphasis on material objects, comforts, and considerations, with a disinterest in or rejection of spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values; the theory or attitude that physical well-being and worldly possessions constitute the greatest good and highest value in life.

What do I value? I hope by the end of these 30 days, I have a better idea. Maybe if new things aren’t an option for me, I’ll stop thinking about them, and focus on what really matters to me…whatever that is… J I hope I like myself more after this. I was certainly not impressed with me after reading Kasser’s book.

So, stay tuned for more random questions; there are sure to be many as I spend less time buying s$%# and more time searching my soul for the meaning of it all…

***

Update - a few minutes later: Do I sound like a poor spoiled suburbanite, whining about "how hard life is in my new house, with my good job, loving husband, and full social life"? That's not my intention at all, so I apologize now if your eyeballs are aching from all the rolling they're doing right now. I just feel that, despite all I have, I am missing something. There has to be more to life than finding time for a new yoga class and dragging myself to work each day to pay for more shoes...

A break from the "gimmes"

So, a while back, I posted about desperately wanting a pair of Melodia pants. Desperately, like I couldn’t live without then, in severe pout mode, ready to slap them on a credit card – it was crucial that I buy these pants. I did manage to talk myself off the ledge, reassuring myself that the pants would still be there when I had the money…and they were. Last week I had the money and I ordered the pants. Black S33 Fringes. Beautiful. I got them Monday – they are fabulous! They do wonderful things for my butt, they are comfy and sexy, and I am just loving them. I am sure I will get plenty of use out of them. But after they arrived, and I had tried them on, I did what I do with most any other new toy – played with it for a second, then set it aside. The thrill was gone. This gave me pause and I thought – is this all there is? Do I live merely for the pursuit of new things? I have plenty of things – I buy things, I make things…don’t I have enough? Is there ever enough? How often to I buy things that I need versus things I just want?

Monday night after the pants arrived, I finished my latest library book, The High Cost of Materialism. It was an eye-opener. I am materialistic, simple as that. And because I am this way, I am not truly living my life, but merely window-shopping. Focusing on things detracts from my relationships with other people and the world around me. It’s a depressing thought. It’s also a rather pathetic thought. Do I really put objects ahead of everything else? Are my priorities totally out of whack?

I’ve read other books on voluntary simplicity, going without, not shopping; I regularly peruse blogs such as The Compact…but I’ve never given too much thought to doing it myself. Could I do it? Could I give up my materialistic ways? Even for, say, a month? I have my doubts…but I’m willing to give it a shot. So, in the spirit of ML’s personal challenges, I’m going to give up buying myself things for 30 days. I started yesterday… ;)

Here are my rules:

• No new clothing. The folks at the Compact and even at the local yahoo group allow for purchases such as swimwear, socks, and undies, but I’m well-stocked, so I’ll be fine…
• No new music, movies, books. I am a belly-dance dvd and cd addict. In fact, I have a new dvd on order with Amazon. However, it’s a pre-release order, so it shouldn’t show up before this challenge is over, and if it does, I won’t open it. I already get most of my books from the library and from Paperback Swap, so I should be fine in that department as well.
• No unnecessary grocery items or toiletries – I am about to run out of shampoo (a necessity), but I will skip the pretty nail polish that I’ll have to pass on my way to the hair product aisle. I’ll also restrain from junk food and other useless food items – just because I want it doesn’t mean my body benefits from it.
• No new fabric or craft supplies. This is probably the big one – other than dvds – I buy A LOT of fabric. In fact, I have bags and bags of fabric in our guest room. I have so many un-started and half-finished projects, I could probably go all summer without buying more. Maybe I will! For now, though, I will concentrate on using up what I have for the next 29 days.

I’ll probably add to this list – I’m sure there is plenty of other stuff I insist on buying on a whim.

What I am allowed:

• Non-material entertainment – concerts, lectures, art exhibits, plays – you don’t really “consume” that kind of stuff. That is, it’s not going to sit on my shelf after I’ve paid for it. Same for paying for classes and workshops – they are experiences, and well-worth the money. The hard part here will be the shopping at the workshops – there is a workshop in two weeks and it will be difficult not to buy anything among all the sparkly objects for sale.
• Food (non-junk) and necessary toiletries, medications. I’m not getting any thrill out of these, believe me.
• Used and home-made objects. I love to sew, so I have some ideas in mind for refashioning some old pieces and constructing some new ones. Plus I will continue to trade books and use the things I already have.

Hopefully, I’ll come out of this experience with a less-cluttered guest room, some extra cash and a sense of peace…and hopefully I won’t head straight for the mall.

And I am a Material Girl

I hate being broke.  OK, granted, I’m not can’t-pay-the-bills, can’t-fill-my-belly, can’t-make-ends-meet broke, I’m just whining middle-class can’t-go-shopping-today broke, but still.  Not having cash for fun stuff makes me antsy and unpleasant to be around.  And while I actually do have a little pocket money at the moment, I’m trying to ration it out carefully as not to blow it all before my next paycheck. 

But, regardless of the fact that I technically have some money, I’m not in a position to spend it because of all the things I have coming up (workshops, costume purchases, social obligations) for which I should be saving…and therefore I really really really want to buy things.  Lots of things.  I never seem to want things unless I can’t have them…and when I can’t have them, I get obsessive.  

Today’s obsession:  Melodia pants.  These are an item that I actually “need”; a group of us are working on a Gothic/tribal fusion dance and we need appropriate costumes…which translates into extremely-expensive-but-oh-so-fabulous pants, aka Melodias.  I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to justify them enough to use a credit card (a huge no-no at my house), but so far, I’ve been “lucky” enough (financially-speaking) not to find the ones I want in my size.  I want a pair of black fringes (the options are fringe, sash, or miniskirt), in size S31.  Apparently I’m small for Melodias – awesome!  Well, except that smalls are rare and quickly snapped up.  Currently on eBay, the only black S31s available are the minis.  The Melodia rep posted about black fringes in S32 early this morning, which I messaged her about, but I think they were already taken… :P 

So, yeah, this is my poor white suburban hell right now – not being able to buy fancy pants.  How pathetic am I? J